Matter of the Heart

August 13, 2013

I fell, you see, that’s all. Dislocated shoulder, then another, and then again. Dislocation. During that month of three dislocations, I experienced pain in my chest, because I fell. I fell, like I’ve done throughout my life, mostly when I was little. And other than my arm having no shoulder cuff to call home, and the excruciating pain, I brushed off my clothes, put a band-aid on my knee, and went back to the playground.

There was this pain in my chest. I asked Dr. Cox, the orthopedic surgeon, “Could it be a rib or a herniated something?”
“Well, go to the ER and have an EKG.”
“But, I just fell. You can’t hurt your heart that way, can you?”

An EKG.
“When did you have the heart attack?” the nurse practitioner asked.
“Oh no, Silly, I never did.”
“Well it looks like it. Maybe the tape wasn’t on right.”
“No, you see, I just fell.”

On to a heart specialist.
“Hello, Doctor. You see, I fell and it all started with that.”
“We’re going to do another EKG and an echocardiogram.”

Results: abnormalities. But I was a technical difficult study and two times, I defied the machines. And really, I just fell...and now it hurts. This just happens to be where my heart is. On to New York City. I don’t know but if we’re talking the heart, that little mysterious organ that keeps it all going, I better be in New York.

Maddy Miller, who took photos before and after, kept me looking right as rain and got me to Dr. Merle Myerson with her very preventative approach, which I appreciate, to heart issues. She recommended blood tests and stress tests and a nuclear-reactor something-or-other... and I don’t even have a microwave. Maddy held my hand throughout. Hence, no “during” photos. We were both radioactive for one day. “Don’t go near children or animals” we were both warned after the fact. But those results sealed my fate. The other tests were not erroneous, there was something wrong and a catheterization was urgent. But, I just fell.

Dr. Roubin did the procedure. The day after Maddy’s birthday, roof photo and feet tweet. Four hours later, I was released with a walking stick, went home to my New York City residence, hardly knowing what hit me. I have a high threshold for pain, it seems.

It was a silent heart attack. Pretty recent. I’m remembering this hurt, that pain, can’t really pinpoint. Maybe when Peter left, a broken heart, the heart so mysterious. Oh, and I don’t have high blood pressure or the high “bad” cholesterol. But there was 100% blockage of a big-boss artery. Now I live with the miracle of science. A stent has success fully opened one of those tree branches servicing the big-momma valve. So, I’ve been singing with half a heart for a few years, my dear ones. Could you tell?

I’m becoming stronger by the day. There were two shows in Canada and now, I will “recupe” and fortunately, I’m not having to cancel dates. There is a book signing in Nashville on August 27th and The Cutting Room in New York City, October 12th where I’m planning a Brand New Me...“Don’t hate me, I’m old enough to use it” written by a young girl I know well but not well enough. There will be a performance the likes of which you have never seen before as I never do the same thing twice.

This last paragraph is scored with Liza Minnelli's version of New York, New York:
“Bamp bamp bah tada..Bamp bamp bah tada...”

My dear ones, while all this medical stuff was going on, I wanted to tell you but didn’t want to scare anyone. So now, I assure you, the danger’s passed and my heart is bursting with joy. Well, maybe “bursting” isn’t the right word. No, no bursting. My heart is receiving everything it needs and I am poised to love and to be loved. You see, I just fell, that’s all. My dear ones, everything for a reason. An angel’s watching.

Love,
Melanie