A Good Soldier

March 26, 2013

I´ve sold over 80 million records and I manage myself. It´s sort of like being a self medicator. I believe you should not fool around with pharmaceuticals nor self managing.
There is a strange grouping of performances ahead of me ~ and I did it myself!
Well with a bit of “oh come on, you can do it” for which I am a sucker. I'm a trooper, right? A good soldier, overachiever ~ yeah. So I take a deep breath and say: well, alright, I can do it ~ can't I? The motivation, well maybe it's you, my dear ones. Or maybe something I don't pinpoint at this time. It could be, that I drink coffee …

You see perhaps some unnameable parasite, unbeknownst to myself, though I've been raving and enabling it since birth. What if I'm listening to its now nurtured voice?!
Ahhh scream No, No … It's you, my dear ones, not some inner parasitic voice ~ of course I can do it ~ off to the West, Oregon, California ~ Goldrush, tribal drums to which I sing 'Eyes of Man' ~ Christina Duane, the creator of Romancing the West, said “If you' re gonna be a bear, be a grizzly” ~ cowboy wisdom. I inflict all this and cowboy wisdom on Beau Jarred ~ unquestioningly, unwittingly yet knowingly, he comes along.

Friend, partner, son, Beau. I say I have to go alone and he says “yes I know you do, and I am going with you” and he does even though I am a self manager ~ couldn't someone put me on Ellen DeGeneres or Jay Leno or Lifetime TV for God's sake?

Then I could just make choices guided by pure inner voice. I wouldn't have to create my own choices ~ it would be all that must be here. I'm telling you more than you should know ~ well it's the era of reality shows, welcome to the Melanie reality show ~ I've been blessed with angels, at least I am not alone, my dear ones, not alone.